It’s April, my birthday month and God told me to rest, relax, and have fun. It came in the form of the #birthdaymonthchallenge and I initially rejected it until it became clear that God was serious.
I’m not a birthday person. I generally spend the day in deep reflection or doing meaningful work that invigorates me. Some years, I book a speaking engagement on my birthday. Other years I host a workshop or attend a personal development retreat. Until this year, my birthday was always an intentional, focused moment to become a better version of myself for the year ahead. This year I was urged to take the birthday month challenge, to celebrate myself in frivolity all month long. Basically, just do fun stuff without growing at all. So to me…torture!
The first few days of the month I was literally nauseated. It was so foreign to me to talk about my birthday outside of the actual day and plan a month of activities. I woke up on the 5th of the month and decided that I would quit this silly challenge, ignoring the fact that God had asked me to rest, relax, and have fun. I went into my office and started working. Birthday ignored. Challenge failed.
But then…
The earth began to shake. No, seriously. The day I refused to take a break, and ignored God’s whisper to rest, relax, and have fun, there was a 4.8 earthquake on the East Coast that shook my pen cup off my desk. Alrighty then, challenge is back on.
By day ten I started to settle into it. On the 11th I went to see “The Wiz” at the Marquis Theatre in New York City. It was wonderful. Go see it. I watched a few things on TV that I wouldn’t normally watch. I read a book that had nothing to do with the Bible…that’s huge! I listened to fiction podcasts…okay, that was technically research for work, but still. I started playing a match game on my iphone and I’m on level 105 with over a week left in the month. Fun! Fun! And more fun without intentionally trying to grow.
I have spent the last three weeks just being present with my family, my friends, and the world around me. I’ve been to beaches and broadway shows. I’ve brunched and biked multiple times. I ate French fries. I bought a bunch of pink stuff. I took a break from “becoming” to just be. I allowed myself to stay in the “now” without rehashing or rehearsing anything in my thoughts. Guess what happened?
I actually became a new me. By just being, I was in fact becoming a better version of myself. By paying attention to the poppy flowers on the bike trail and the almond pieces in my kale salad, I noticed more things about God. Consequently, I realized more things about me. I realized that I could ride a bike fourteen miles without hating it. I realized that I could eat French fries sometimes without throwing away my low-carb life. I ate gelato y’all!
Ironically, I grew a lot this month. I learned more about the woman I am today. I was always focused because I was afraid to lose focus. I only spent money on things I needed, nothing I just wanted. I rejected frivolity because..well, it’s not a game out here. I don’t think I am wrong for the focused and structured way that I’ve lived for the last fifteen years. I was becoming me…the me I am today.
I don’t think I could have discovered this me if I didn’t take the birthday month challenge. So, I’m glad I did it and I still have a week to go.
Happy Birthday to you…whenever it is, I hope you take time to just be and celebrate the you God has created on this journey.
TOYI ELIZABETH 